Big Christmas, Small Pricetag

Our un-orthodox Christmas is on the 12th day of Christmas because we have so much extended family in the area. After many years of having three celebrations in 24 hours, we started celebrating ours on, or near, January 6. There are many reasons we liked it, so we are keeping it there. You’ve probably already celebrated, but you might like some of our ideas for next year.

The more the merrier, right? That was my feeling as I added more and more adorable children to my own small village. You might wonder, how do you make Christmas merry for ten children? How can you afford it?

I want my kids to remember growing up in our house as a secure, happy time. New stuff makes us happy for a short time, sometimes really short. You might not even have paid off the credit card before the toy has stopped giving out happiness vibes. How long will the happiness last? It could be just minutes. The joy on my kid’s face in a photo enjoying the fun thing lasts almost as long as the happiness of them choosing, getting and owning the toy. Because inevitably reality sets in with storing, cleaning, maintaining and watching it age. Here are a couple shots of my kids enjoying things I didn’t buy them.

Pink unicorn love….for free.

Enjoying the buffalo without paying $125.

 

Since the happiness diminishes so rapidly, I found a way to lower the cost of toys, books and clothes for my kids. I love giving them what they want, but don’t want it to hurt our finances. So I sometimes buy used instead of new. The difference is packaging and condition. I find used items in good shape and save lots of money. What’s the shrink wrap worth anyway? It’s just annoying. Sara Groves is a wonderful singer/ song writer, a mom who has been there trying to open new toys. I got to hear her in concert last week. I give you “Toy Packaging” for your late night wrapping session pleasure.

Toy Packaging

It’s better to get toys without the mummifying packaging.  I get quality gifts second hand at yard sales, consignment events, and thrift stores. I start thinking about Christmas gifts right after Christmas, and I stash away good gifts I find throughout the year.

Keep the gift list small: 3 per child is reasonable. If you are still shopping for your kids this year, maybe you could just stop and give them a better gift. Time spent reading to them, cooking  or playing  a game with them.

Or give an artfully presented coupon to attend an event later in the dark quiet days of winter.

The lasting happiness of needs met is better than the flash of elation from opening a new toy. My kids tell me they want all kinds of things. As the parent, I know that what they want more than stuff is security and love, so I pay for necessities like heat, housing and dental work instead of toys.

So, no fun at all? Yes, lots of fun! I often buy a board game as a Christmas gift for the family. This year it’s Ticket to Ride. If you give puzzles, books, board games and card games, you have group entertainment. Hiking, museums, community theater, movies, story time at the library, and classes at the rec center are all fun things to do together that aren’t too expensive. Keep what you would have spent on toys, and spend it throughout the year on family activities. You’ll get so much more out of it. The gift of family time is worth so much more than stuff.

What Christmas looks like at our house:
Cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Homemade if that works, otherwise I use Pillsbury or store brand from a can because traditions shouldn’t be a heavy load for mom, they should be bright threads that run through your family history as fond memories.

Read, act out and record Luke 2:1-20 from the Bible before opening gifts.

Stocking bags. Because we scoff at tiny, useless stockings we pin our stockings to brown paper grocery sacks to be filled with:

• Cereal: here’s where we go crazy. All year we eat sensible, low-sugar cereals, but for Christmas…the kids get their very own box of their choice, even if the first ingredient is sugar!
• Candy bar or savory treat like chips, jerky or nuts
• Small gifts: candy, soaps, hand warmers, tea, hot chocolate, candles, deck of cards
• travel size toiletries
• Toothbrush and toothpaste

Everyone who wants to puts little gifts into the stocking bags. For a long time we have drawn names for a bigger gift because, do the math. Twelve people giving gifts gets to be a mountain of presents even with just a few gifts per child from my husband and I and only small gifts from one sibling to another.

We cap off the gift opening with a wrapping paper snowball fight. I started it one year as we sat there looking at each other with all that paper at our feet. Irresistible. We spend the rest of our holiday playing board games and rolling out a stream of hot appetizers throughout the afternoon.

The more, the merrier is true if we enjoy each other on the holidays and make it about celebrating God’s love and enjoying our favorite people.

Get More for Your Money, the book.

Getting more for your money is a way of thinking. This book will brainwash/ educate you about how to take your income and make it go further. After you read it, you will see advertisements and your skeptical inner voice will say “not true, that thing won’t make me happier, it will take my money and give it to you.”

I started a booklet, which turned into a book, to share ideas about saving money on all the things we spend on. All the while I was thinking “everybody knows this” or “this is just common sense.” But then I would run into another friend who didn’t know how to shop skillfully or bargain for better deals. So I kept writing.

When I started writing, everyone said you had to have two incomes to make ends meet. I didn’t believe it and wanted to tell people that it was a lie. I was living on one income with a large family. As an Early Childhood Education major, I knew that children are better off with consistent attachment to their parents. They are better off with second hand clothing, generic toothpaste and no-name tennis shoes while you consistently keep a roof over their heads and healthy food on their plates. Better to give them the priceless gift of time and attention instead of a bunch of shiny stuff.

So how does a woman with 5, 6, 7 and more children write a book? Fifteen minutes at a time, that’s how. I wrote a few paragraphs at nap time, scribbled down some ideas while homeschooling. It took years, but I got it done. Taking a while to write it was good, too. It meant that as I had more experiences and challenges as a thrifty mom of a small village, I knew what to share with you.

Get More for Your Money includes info on all types of money matters. It will teach you how to understand where your money is going and how to get better prices on all areas of spending. It focuses on grocery shopping because that is the monthly expense that is the most flexible. You can find hundreds of dollars a month by shopping more carefully for groceries. But that’s not all! I cover housing, utilities, food, clothing, entertainment and major purchases. All through the book you’ll find tips and ideas that my family has been living out for years. This isn’t just theory, it works!

 

 

 

Hello, parents

You’ve got a friend in me. I understand.

Here we are at “the family tree”. Just my mom and my family which now includes 4 sons in law and 4 grandchildren.

Parenting: immense love, followed shortly by overwhelming uncertainty. Overflowing joy, extreme frustration. I’ve felt them all. I welcome you to this no judgement zone of learning to raise children without losing your mind or going broke.

I got a phone call from a younger mom. She was hoping I could help her. “Trish, will you be my mentor? I want to kill my toddler.” I agreed in a heartbeat because I’ve been there. I talked to Mollie until her toddler was safe from her rage and we came up with some ideas to try. We had many meetings and phone calls over several years, then I officially graduated her to friend status. She still has all her children.

My parenting philosophy in two words is loving limits. My children need to know two things without a doubt:

1. Mom/Dad loves me
2. Mom/Dad is the boss

When a child knows she’s loved, and knows for certain that there’s someone providing for her needs, protecting her, teaching her and guiding her while showing her the big, wide world, a little at a time, she can thrive.

Where does money come into it? In a word, security. Just as loving limits gives a child security, so does financial stability. Not riches, but needs met. It’s even better if a child does not get everything he desires, but is sure of shelter, nutritious food and proper clothing. Why is it better not to give your child whatever he desires? Because working and praying for things is more valuable than having them handed to him. He will grow and develop in the wanting, waiting, asking, working and learning.

A degree in Early Childhood Education and classes in money management were helpful in raising my 10 children and living on one income, but you don’t have to go that far to get some help if you’re struggling. I can offer some advice here. Or maybe you are just looking for some company as you walk down the road of parenting on a shoestring. Either way, I’m glad to get to know you.

Please ask questions, start a discussion or otherwise chime in. I’m here with you.